Finally, it’s here. The Big Brother 15 finale airs tonight on CBS at 9:30 PM ET. After it is all over, either GinaMarie Zimmerman, Andy Herren or Spencer Clawson will be the new Big Brother 2013 winner and the thrilled recipient of a half million dollars. Sadly, we don’t really care which of them wins at this point but we’ll be glad it is all over and we can start campaigning for a Big Brother All Stars season for next summer’s Big Brother 16.
Yes, we admit we cried like babies for an all new, fresh cast this season after constantly seeing veterans popping up every damn year over and over… and see where that got us? Screw the newbies, bring on the veterans for BB16 for some true cutthroat, kick-a**, hardcore game playing, okay CBS?
Meanwhile, however, we have been faithfully watching the Big Brother Live Feeds in hopes that something cool might happen before the finale tonight that we can share with you. Sadly, we have to say that in our last Live Feeds report for the Big Brother 15 season, the most interesting thing that happened was Andy getting kind of drunk and being way freaky about the finale. We sort of enjoyed watching his paranoia about possibly coming in third and winning no money — but that was about it.
10:30 AM BBT: We laugh when production actually tries to get the final three HouseGuests out of bed. They know there is no reason for them to get up and frankly, we are just as bored by them being awake as asleep, so it doesn’t really matter. Which is why they’ve been sleeping until mid-afternoon for days.
11:00 AM BBT: The HouseGuests are forced to get up when production puts them on outdoor lockdown. They go lay down outside. Andy thinks this is the last time they will get to be in the backyard until after the finale.
11:30 AM BBT: The hamsters are sent inside for an indoor lockdown and say goodbye to the backyard. Spencer has a shower. Everyone goes back to bed.
1:30 PM BBT: The HouseGuests are forced to get up again. We don’t think Andy has changed his shirt in two days. Spencer tells Andy production confirmed the finale was on the 18th. They whine about how McCrae was always stealing stuff. They talk about past competitions and GM complains about how Amanda was the worst sport ever and if she was going to be so upset, then she should have won something “you fat b*tch!” Finally, production makes them all go to the Head of Household room for an HoH lockdown. They don’t do anything interesting and mostly just want to go back to sleep.
2:10 PM BBT: Andy, GM and Spencer are released from the HoH room. They think production is trying to keep them awake. Andy is still screwing with the googly eyes ripped off from one of the props from the last Veto Competition. GM grabs the competition prop of Nick’s head on a fly’s body and kisses it, saying she will see him tomorrow f**kface. They all go back to bed. AGAIN.
4:00 PM BBT: Yes, it’s after 4PM and only NOW are the final three actually resembling anything but lazy zombies. Sadly, they eat and then basically do nothing but make random chatter.
4:20 PM BBT: The final three talk about how the other HouseGuests took it when they were evicted. GM makes food for the guys AGAIN because apparently they don’t even know how to make a sandwich. They talk about when Elissa Slater was evicted and have a little Elissa bashing session. (A favorite pastime.) Spencer calls her a stupid b*tch and Andy laughs.
Andy wants to know what GM would do if she were in the final three with McCranda. GM says she would probably just pleasure herself because they would never talk to her. Andy and Spencer make some very nasty comments about Amanda and Candice — like seriously disgusting and we aren’t going to repeat them. Spencer even uses visuals in the form of squishing his sandwich in front of the cameras. Then he goes on to talk about how he’d like to f**k his pseudo-girlfriend Marilyn in the HoH room. Then they go back to talking about the other HouseGuests and saying snarky, mean crap about Candice, Howard, etc.
5:30 PM BBT: Andy, GM and Spencer are chased back upstairs for another Head of Household room lockdown. Andy begs production to play them some music. Feeds cut out.
6:30 PM BBT: Feeds return but they might as well have stayed off because nothing is happening other than Spencer bashing Amanda and saying really horrible stuff about her again. Oh, and Andy calls Candice a b*tch.
7:30 PM BBT: Oh look, it’s another stupid card game. After that, we have some painting crafts. Really, one of these people is going to win 500k for painting dinosaurs?
8:00 PM BBT: Andy and Spencer screw around with fruit they find in the storage room. Andy finds a bunch of rotten bananas. Spencer threatens to smash a watermelon. They jokingly complain that production didn’t give them any more dental dams. Spencer tosses fruit at a manikin head in the kitchen hall.
9:00PM BBT: Andy says he is scared to see Elissa and Amanda tomorrow. Spencer says he doesn’t give a f**k what any of them say tomorrow. Andy says if anyone says anything b*tchy to him, he’ll just tell them to sit down. Andy asks who was the bigger a**hole, Amanda or Elissa? They agree it was Amanda but Andy says Elissa was unbearable to be around. Andy and Spencer say more gross sh*t about Elissa.
9:55 PM BBT: Andy reconfirms his final two deal with GinaMarie. Andy says he is freaking out over all the money. GM says that Diary Room told her if she changed her mind about who she would take to the final two, she had to tell them and she said “no, no, I’m done.” Andy is freaking. GM is all excited about seeing Nick. She says this season had the hottest cast ever. (NOT.)
GM tells Andy that Spencer has been telling her that she can’t win against Andy but she never told Spencer she would definitely take him to the finale. Andy says Spencer gave him the same spiel about GM. GM can’t stop about Nick and worries he might not want to be with a “dumb” girl. Andy says she would never call her dumb. GM says she has street smarts. Andy campaigns her about how Spencer was on the block eight times and never went home and the Jury would totally give Spencer the money for that.
10:20 PM BBT: Andy drinks several beers and gets a little drunk. He’s stressing out with paranoia that we won’t make the final two. Andy is trying to make it look like he wasn’t really that important in the 3AM alliance or the Knockouts alliance. Spencer jokes that he’s upset because those alliances were after him. Andy makes it like the alliances didn’t mean anything. Spencer says he expects Andy to win the third HoH round and take him to the end.
10:40 PM BBT: GM says if Nick is with someone she is going to be very upset. Spencer says to the cameras that GM is a good woman and Nick should marry this one.
10:55 PM BBT: The final three insult the Brenchel army again, calling them morons for supporting Elissa. They get more beers and Spencer says now they have 11 beers for finale day.
11:25 PM BBT: Off camera, Spencer asks to see GM’s cl*t ring and she says “yeah.” Andy makes a face to the cameras.
12:15 AM BBT: More cards. And Andy is still drinking. Spencer insults Ian Terry for rooting for McCrae. Andy says Ian can go f**k himself. Then they bash McCrae and say rude, way too personal things about Amanda again. Andy has had a lot of beer and wants to know if he is annoying. GM says no but she’s glad she doesn’t have to drive him home.
1:15 AM BBT: Andy thinks CBS has portrayed him as a floater. This is in contrast to him complaining a few days ago that CBS is probably showing him as a lying, backstabbing manipulator. Or, well, the real truth is that he’s both.
1:50 AM BBT: GM tells Spencer she wants to be the one who is in control of this game. Andy and GM go to bed. Spencer reads his previous Head of Household letter again before going to bed himself.
2:00 AM BBT: Everyone goes to sleep after being awake less than 12 hours really.
10:00 AM BBT: All the final three HouseGuests say goodbye to the Live Feed watchers. Spencer says they can’t have Big Brother without us. Andy says he is honored to have been on the show and says not to vote for Elissa to be America’s Favorite. Like, please, please, please don’t vote for her, anyone but her! GM says the Feeders are superfans and she hopes they kept us entertained.
And we’re out…
The cameras fade and we are left with the final Live Feeds message:
“Thanks for watching this season’s Big Brother Live Feeds. Enjoy continued access to the entire season’s video archives, highlights & chat feature. Service and recurring charges end Oct. 20th.”
Be sure to join us for our live recap of the Big Brother 15 finale tonight at 9:30 PM ET where finally, we’ll get to watch some real action again in the last round of the final Head of Household Competition before the new winner is crowned!
