Join me for story hour, friends. Once upon a time there was a man named James Huling. During the summer of 2015 he was on Big Brother 17. One day, James was playing in a Head of Household competition, fighting for control of the BB17 house.
James told his friend, Shelli Poole that if she threw the competition to him, he would ensure that not only would she be safe, but her boo thing, Clay Honeycutt would also be safe from the chopping block. Well, Shelli threw the competition to him. James nominated Shelli and Clay. And Clay went home. Much sad. Very cry.
Flash forward to the summer of 2016 and BB18. Our friend James is back in the Big Brother house, again playing in a HOH competition. James tells a Cabbage Patch Doll by the name of Bridgette that she and her puppet master, Frank Eudy will be safe if she throws the competition to him.
Friends, do you know what happened? Bridgette gave him the HOH. James nominated Bridgette and Frank. And now one of them will go home.
SOUNDS FAMILIAR, RIGHT?! Shake my head at these froot loop dingus busta fooligans.
Story time now over, let’s get to our pros and cons for this week’s eviction nominees!
Bridgette
My favorite part about Bridgette is that people think she’s a genuine threat when she isn’t. She won a HOH competition that required more luck than skill, and a veto that did require some skill, but not enough to deem her a competition beast.
Pros for Evicting Bridgette
- Her voice alone makes me want to evict her.
- Her naivety makes me cringe. Oh I’m sorry. Someone lied to you? In the words of Julie Chen, “Welcome to Big Brother.”
- Without her, there’s one less competition beast for the others to beat (I dipped that line in sarcasm for extra flavor).
Cons for Evicting Bridgette
- Paul will have to expand his baking skills into cookie making.
- Michelle will have to find another outlet for her jealous rage.
Frank
My hopes were sailing on the wings of eagles when those blonde curls popped out of that trunk. I felt like Frank started this trip to the BB House on the right foot. He picked strong people for his team, he had a solid alliance, he was winning competitions. Things were looking good. Then the ish hit the fan, and things started spiraling out of control. Now he’s basically friendless with only Velma the Cabbage Patch Doll to keep him company.
Pros for Evicting Frank
- The flirting with Bridgette can stop before it totally ruins his relationship with his girlfriend (maybe).
- The other HG’s won’t have to worry about his jokes that typically go too far.
- Grodner will have some spare time to think of better twists if she isn’t constantly thinking of ways to save Frank.
Cons for Evicting Frank
- He’ll cut his hair before the glorious curly locks reach their full potential.
- Someone else will have to take up the mantel as house dictator. Oh wait. Paulie’s already taken care of that.
Either way, it turns into The House vs. the remaining member of Fridgette as soon as the live eviction is over. I’m personally looking forward to seeing if the evictee has the roundtrip ticket on their person.
And remember, friends. If you’re ever playing for HOH against James, and he tells you that he won’t put you up on the chopping block… DO. NOT. BELIEVE. HIM.
