The CBS Big Brother 15 premiere is finally here! Yes, it’s time at last for the Big Brother 2013 premiere — the awesome day die-hard fans plan their whole summer around. Ready to meet the new HouseGuests? Join us for our live Big Brother 2013 recap of the season 15 premiere right here starting at 8 PM ET/5 PM PT. It may not be as big of a deal as the Supreme Court ruling for gay marriage equality (which the HGs won’t even know!) but we’re excited!

Big Brother 2013 Cast

Our calendar is scheduled for the next three months so we don’t miss a single #BB15 catfight, backstabbing, huge alliance move or sudden eviction by force after someone goes cray-cray and starts headbutting people again! How about yours? Do you have your Big Brother Live Feeds ready to go for the launch tonight at 9PM ET/12AM ET to find out what happens next?

We are so happy the Big Brother 15 cast is totally new this year, we can’t even stand it. However, we still don’t know if the HGs will be playing solo… or might be grouped up in teams. Host Julie Chen has stated it will be a “no floaters” season thanks to a new big twist on the show that should be announced on the Big Brother premiere tonight. We can’t wait to find out what that’s all about!

And here we go! Say hello again to Big Brother host Julie Chen! Sixteen HouseGuests will be entering the house but only one will emerge the winner! Julie welcomes viewers to “the biggest Big Brother ever!” She says viewers will have the opportunity to play along and have a “major impact” on the events of the show.

We cut to a clips montage of the Big Brother 15 cast members receiving their keys. Yes, keys. None of that weird stuff last season where they didn’t get keys at first and Jodi got eliminated before she even got to be in the house. One by one we are introduced to the Big Brother 2013 cast members. Wow, there are a lot of them and we can’t type that fast. You can check out all the basics on this year’s Big Brother 15 cast here.

We will note that somewhat in contrast to something we thought we saw earlier about her, Rachel Reilly‘s sister Elissa Slater says she plans to try to keep her relationship with the former Big Brother winner secret for as long as possible. They are dead ringers for each other though when she makes certain facial expressions, so that’s so not going to work.

After the introductions, we finally get to watch the HouseGuests enter the Big Brother 15 house. Julie Chen says the Big Brother 2013 cast will have to spend a total of 90 days in the house avoiding eviction. Which is 10 days short of the “100 days of summer” that has been advertised in the commercials, but close enough. It’s going to be a crazy awesome very long season.

Candice, GinaMarie, Judd and Andy are the first HGs to enter the house. They scream and wander around like kids in a playground. GinaMarie just has to hope in the shower to see how much that little glass door really does cover.

Jeremy, McCrae, Kaitlin and Elissa are the next group into the house for another repeat of screaming time.

Howard, Helen, Jessie and Nick are the next to the last group to enter and the screaming gets even louder. Helen says walking into the Big Brother house is like meeting the biggest celebrity of all time. Howard can’t stop talking about all the “beautiful women” and GinaMarie is seeming kind of interested — like throwing herself bodily at him while jumping off the bed so he can catch her. Jessie, meanwhile, says she is the prettiest girl. The final group to enter is Spencer, Amanda, Aaryn  and David, and they’ve already run out of beds. Sucks for them!

Jessie thinks Jeremy looks like he is right out of the Twilight movies and he is going to turn into a werewolf at any moment. She thinks he is super hot. We are starting to sniff a theme here with all the HouseGuests talking about how hot everyone else is.

Well, they did have that “showmances” preview commercial before the season started, so obviously they were casting with that in mind. And you can be sure the HGs were told to play up the romantic angle by commenting about it.

Everyone goes around introducing themselves and says who they are and what they do while they sip drinks. No one believes that McCrae is actually just a pizza delivery guy. They all think he is some kind of secret genius. We find that really kind of hilarious. We do have to roll our eyes at even more “he’s so hot” and “she’s such a babe” comments going around. We get it already! House full of young, single people with the potential for on-camera sexcapades! Let’s move on.

After a commercial break, Jeremy, Spencer and Howard are already talking game play about forming up a three-person guy alliance. They make a quick agreement to make an all the way to the end secret grouping. That’s definitely one of the fastest forming alliances we’ve seen. Just minutes later, Jeremy is knee deep in another alliance with David and Jessie. Zoooooom!

But things might not work out the way they think… because Julie is about to announce a big twist! She says there will not be two nominees for eviction each week, there will be THREE every week. Which means the chance to get nominated will be much bigger for everyone. Andy says thanks to Big Brother for definitely giving him the unexpected. Julie says the Head of Household will still nominate two people but she isn’t going to tell them yet how the third nominee will be chosen. Julie finishes off by saying that in the words of Rachel Reilly, “floaters better get a life vest.” Of course, the camera zooms in on her sister, Elissa Slater, pouting her lips.

After another commercial break, it’s time for the first Head of Household competition of Big Brother 15. The HouseGuests have to climb up huge, dangling, cloth-covered popsicles and hang on as long as they can. Elissa is afraid someone will figure out she is Rachel’s sister, so she really wants to win. Judd is the first person off and he says he didn’t want the first HoH. Howard falls off right after and no one is going to believe he didn’t throw it, which he says he did. Candice is the third to fall off.

Now the remaining HGs are sprayed with cold, sticky liquid out of a giant mouth. It’s quite disgusting. Everyone starts commenting on how Jessie is humping her popsicle to stay on it. Then a couple of folks start talking about how much Elissa looks like Rachel and Judd realizes it has to be her sister, but he’s going to keep it to himself.

More slime and gross stuff is thrown at the remaining HGS and six of them are now out, oops, seven as Jessie goes down. Then Elissa and GinaMarie fall off. Andy is next, leaving just six remaining to battle it out. And then it’s five as Kaitlin takes a fall. Aaryn is the last girl standing, or hanging, as the case may be. Dave, Jeremy, McCrae and Nick are still up for the guys. And… another commercial break.

Back to the show and Aaryn decides to give it up, she’s tired and in pain and she thinks the guys are just going to make it longer. Julie interrupts to give a proposal to the remaining HGs in the competition. She says the next two people to drop will get a chance to select a lunch pail with a “Never Not Pass” in it. This means the person getting it will never be a “Have Not” the whole season.

Only one of the pails will have the pass though, and the other person gets nothing. David decides to drop but unfortunately all he gets is a piece of bread and a blank sheet of power. That means the next person to drop will get the pass. Jeremy decides it is a good time to pitch it in and grab that pass, which pisses off his new alliance-mate Howard, who was counting on him getting HoH.

Some mind games ensue now and McCrae convinces Nick to drop, which Nick actually thinks isn’t a bad idea. He doesn’t want to have to nominate two people to go up on the block the first week. Now everyone will get to suck up to McCrae to make sure they don’t go up for eviction. And this is going to make everyone think that he really can’t possibly just be a pizza delivery boy.

Now it’s time for the second big twist of the night. The HoH will still only nominate two HouseGuests for eviction. Julie is about to reveal who will nominate the third. She congratulates McCrae for his win. Julie says the third nomination will be selected by someone inside the Big Brother house.

Here’s how it will work. America will vote every week for a Big Brother Most Valuable Player and that person will nominate the third person for eviction. Even crazier fun, the MVP will be told anonymously and get to do their nomination anonymously. She tells the HGs that America is voting for the first MVP right now and they will find out right before the Veto Competition. The HouseGuests are totally freaked out by this twist. Floaters are just not going to cut it this season, that’s for sure. As Howard says, “it’s going to be a crazy summer!”

That’s a wrap!

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