Dissecting the New Big Brother 2011 House Photos

The first of the Big Brother 13 house photos were released at 12AM ET to Yahoo! TV and I was crazy enough to actually stay up to see them as soon as they hit the Net.

Unfortunately, I was really not all that impressed with the new house decorating. In fact, I actually kind of hate some of the design choices overall, especially since I’m going to be watching the houseguests incessantly via the Big Brother live feeds. There is only so much glaring color the eye can deal with in any one day!

Personally, I was a bit put off by the yellow and red-orange color scheme a bit. Those are just eye watering colors, especially in this bedroom. And then they threw in the purple too. Just makes me want to shudder! Although I did have to laugh that the houseguests will be sleeping under bedspreads that say they are “artificially flavored” — how appropriate is that to a reality TV star? Now if that ice cream trolley in the back actually has ice cream in it, I might actually forgive them — a little — for the horrid colors if I was a houseguest. Or not. I don’t know if I could sleep knowing these colors were lurking there in the dark to attack me!

At least it is better than staring at the crazy-making futuristic metal cliff beds in the other bedroom. I’m just waiting for someone to roll out of bed and do serious damage to themselves on those sharp corners. If their eyes don’t start bleeding first from the color palette! Seriously, I hope they have good insurance and I’m glad my clumsy self is not a houseguest. I’d gash my head open on this thing at some point, I know it. Amazingly enough, this is not the Have-Not bedroom, lol. It seems they have kept that one under wraps from the press so far. We are horrified at the thought of what might be behind THAT locked door!

I think if I was forced to live in this house, I’d be spending a lot of time in that lovely decorated bathroom soothing my eyes with the cool, calm gentle colors… ahhhhh. Now that’s what we’re talking about. This bathroom looks lush and luxurious. I might even try to sleep on that little padded bench to get away from the screaming colors of the rest of the house. Of course, the bathroom shower once again has as little door as is possible for base decency. Which means those Big Brother live feed subscribers will no doubt be overjoyed to see way more of the contestants than they maybe want to. We just hope that this season, unlike last year, no one decides to ‘get happy’ with themselves in the shower again under the watchful eyes of the camera. That’s just creepy.

Moving on to the main part of the house… Is it me, or are the half-surfboards sticking out of the wall over the kitchen vaguely threatening? Like there is a shark lurking around somewhere waiting to bite YOU in half as well… And of course we have more weirdly disturbing color combination going on here with the yellow and the red spawning everywhere. You can even see it spreading outside in the yard area like some sort of plague if you look through the glass patio door.

Pulling back from the kitchen to the main entrance where the houseguests will enter and leave after eliminations, we find some oddly placed bicycles and a patch of artificial grass. You can see the ‘memory’ board on the wall from this angel, with spaces for 14 houseguests laid out. Of course, that doesn’t really mean anything. You can never predict from these photos what the number of actual houseguests will be. We aren’t quite sure what the red cubbyhole things are to the right or if they are just some kind of 3D wall art. Just odd.

The infamous Big Brother dining table in the round is also laid out with 14 place settings. But again, that probably doesn’t mean anything. The huge table will be replaced during the season with a smaller one when enough houseguests are eliminated that it starts to look silly.

I’m actually quite fun of the decorating in the ‘lounge’ area where the houseguests tend to snuggle up and bitch about each other. The purple and black is fun without being eye bleach material and the whole lounge looks comfy and cozy. Well, other than the creepy fortune-teller booth in the corner and the ‘Death’ tarot card poster on the wall. I guess the houseguests can stare at it before eliminations and contemplate their own Big Brother demise.

Finally we move on to the much anticipated Head of Household (HOH) bedroom and bath. If I were to make Head of Household, the first think I would beg for is either to have this horrible orange color scrubbed from existence — or a blindfold to wear during my stay in the room. Plus, I’m all for bringing nature inside, but I don’t think box hedges are really the best decorative plant. For some reason I keep thinking of Edward Scissorhands and shuddering wildly at the thought of sleeping in here.

Lastly we have the Head of Household bathroom, which is not nearly so luxuriously decked out as the main bathroom. We really aren’t quite sure what is up with the owl perched on the bathtub ledge or the spiky light fixture hanging from the ceiling. We do think the elephant is kind of cute though. But again with the orange? Really?

So that’s it for the first official Big Brother 2011 house pictures. We’re sure there will be more forthcoming shortly, along with videos and the annual Julie Chen and Allison Grodner house tour. Meanwhile, let us know what YOU think about the Big Brother 13 house in the comments area below!

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