So, we’re halfway through the season. This means we’ve reached the point where I get annoyed with every houseguest. I’m also on my Olympic hype high, have about 3 hours of sleep under my belt, and chugged an undisclosed number of energy drinks today. Buckle up for a wild ride on the chopping block!

Big I Brother 18-Michelle Meyer, Zakiyah Everette

Big Brother 18’s Zakiyah Everette & Michelle Meyer (Source: CBS)

Can we just take a minute to praise the old Big Brother gods and the new because Bridgette is not on the block? Just like I suspected, with her not on the block, we are not forced to hear (much) of her. That is some good friendship right there. We’ve got Z Baby, Zakiyah Everette, and Big Meech, Michelle Meyer on the block. I am so here for the drama it has stirred up!

Zakiyah

Pardon my emotions for a moment… but…

IF THE QUEEN WAS IN ANY DANGER THE KING WOULD HAVE TO MAKE A MOVE?!?! What the actual what? I’m done with the Zaulie showmance. I was rooting for her at the beginning, but little miss, “I didn’t come here for no boy,” has lost me. It’s hard to believe that statement when she starts the baby talk with Paulie Calafiore. We need pure, unadulterated girl power. Not leech onto the “king” of the house and float along to the end.

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Pros for evicting Zakiyah

  • Zaulie will be over. Here. For. It (pretend like I’m clapping where the periods are).
    Bye bye, baby talk.
  • Bumper car. THAT’S ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT.

Cons for evicting Zakiyah

  • Another lady will leave the house.
  • Who will do Nicole’s hair?
  • Speaking from a teacher point of view… If she goes to the jury house, she won’t have anything to distract her from lesson planning. That my friends, is a tragedy.

Michelle

If I ignored all of the dietician chatter she provided pre-season, I could almost support her. Female. Super fan. I can dig that. First few weeks I was still digging it. She was playing a fairly decent game, and I was well on my way to going team Meech. Then the tears started flowing, and I don’t know that they’ve stopped since. I will say this though. If Sassy Meech can replace Crybaby Meech, I will get back on the path towards team Michelle. It is what it is.

2016-08-08_9-41-09

Pros for evicting Michelle

  • I feel like she’s trying to break Vanessa’s crying record, and I really just don’t have the time for that in my life right now. Or ever.
  • Home girl needs to stay inside for a few days. Her constant sunburn hurts me. Send her to the jury house where she can cuddle up with some Netflix for awhile and let that skin heal.
  • Bridgette would make it further than Michelle, and my soulless body finds great entertainment in that.

Cons for evicting Michelle

  • Another lady will leave the house. Yes, it’s that same as Z’s. I’m tired.
  • I have a feeling Sassy Meech is now here to play. That is something my life needs. Example: throwing Oscar the orca across the room.

Sounds like there’s been a lot going on in the house this week. Honestly, I’ve been busy with back to school shenanigans, so I’m embarrassingly behind on the hot gossip. Double evictions are always a good time, and I have a feeling this one won’t disappoint. Until next time, FRIENDSHIP!

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